November 18, 2018


I came to a realization recently that women are meaner to each other than men to women – and this it the time to address this issue. Of course this is a sweeping generalization. Some women are kind and generous toward everyone. There are also some men who are major drama queens, but that’s for another story.

If you pay attention to the comments on Instagram, the pattern is always there. There’s a picture of a gorgeous, successful woman – but when you scroll down to the comments, there would be words like:

“You look fat.”

“You’d look prettier if you wear more clothes.”

“You show too much cleavage.”

“Your armpit looks dark.”

Even worse, in an Instagram account of a public figure who’s a mother, there would usually be critics of how she takes care of her baby. I think we could all agree that these comments are downright horrible.

And more often than not, the comments come from the fellow women.

I don’t understand how some people do not possess the solidarity we expect in a world that shouts gender equality. Such an ironic thing, if you think about it, that we demand gender equality but we drown each other in horrendous comments.

This woman vs. woman notion is not particularly new. But as some people see it as a natural thing, I am asking us to think otherwise. It is not natural – nor acceptable to be mean as if it is in our DNA to say malicious things to each other for the sake of men, friends, jobs, attention, recognition, and self worth.

Today, I would like to ask my fellow sisters to stop the obnoxious act.

As a disclaimer, this does not mean that we should not make comments and interests about fashion, beauty, and personal lives. We should be free to indulge and revel in them, but the key is to be empathetic and appreciative. I would recommend us to hold back on the negative comments, or so called ‘kind reminder’ if there is any chance that what we say may bring negative impact to the person who receives them.

If you think about this, shifting our thought process from criticizing each other to empowering each other would solve so much problem. Instead of turning our back against each other, I imagine that we could create a ‘storm’ that moves the world in a miraculous way: women economic advancement, educational progress, innovation, and enhanced reproductive rights.  

The bottom line is, as women, we need to stop power tug of war between us women. We need to turn the jealousy to clapping for each others’ success and empowering each others’ weaknesses.

This is the time for us to start empowering each other. This is the time for us to start creating a movement so huge and strong that we are changing the world. This is the time for us to start being empathetic to each other. This is the time.


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