December 10, 2017

Last year, I almost quit Instagram – or being an influencer altogether.

It was a tough time for me because I felt like I was not moving as fast as I’d like to be. Profession wise I wasn’t content of what I had so it injected my mind with a wide range of worries and disappointments – and it rippled to more negative thoughts. At that time, it felt like I was being pulled down to an endless spiral of negativity until one day, I finally realized that the problem lied within myself.

Working mainly through social medias let me perceive the reality of my experience through filtered lenses – and to be honest, real life is not as smooth-sailing as I’d like it to be. It is not as pretty, not as glamorous, and not as perfect.

Some days, I’d wake up with pimples all over my face and then I’d end up comparing myself harshly to those perfect selfies on Instagram. At times like that, even a normal, humanly thing could make me believe that it holds a negative connotation.

This is the world that generally validates our self-worth through what we put on social media.

And then after talking about this to my friend, she said one thing that manages to change my perspective and see things in a much different light: “When you compared your behind-the-scenes to their highlights, you think you have a problem – but you actually don’t. Real life is messy, but it is beautiful. So change the way you look at things, and then the things you at change.”

That was my wake-up call – and since that time onwards, I decided to change the way I look at things. Like, for example, I decided to embrace what I have, and eliminate negative words from my vocabulary. Instead of thinking that I am not where I want, I think I am “on my way to where I am supposed to be”. Instead of comparing myself to the others, I think I am “enjoying my own life in my own way.” Instead of thinking that what I do don’t matter, I think that if I can inspire one person through what I do – even it is only one person – then it is worth doing.

Afterward, slowly, those feelings of frustration and unworthiness got replaced by a much cleaner space of hope and fresh start. By changing my perspective and the words I use to myself, I stopped feeling like a failure.

All of sudden, I gain more power upon my own life. I believe that the thoughts we think and the words we speak have tremendous power. They can either empower us or put us down – and the thing is that sometimes, we can be our own worst critic ever.

It took me a while to understand how unfair I was to myself. I urge myself to talk kindly to others while criticizing myself every day. While just like everyone else, I was also a person who is worthy of being appreciated, understood, respected, nurtured, and loved.

The day I understand this, I stopped putting myself down and I become my own best friend: whenever I am tempted to talk negatively, I change my perspective and take the pressure off. And then, life changes. I become calmer – and the people surround me become calmer as well. I smile more, laugh more, and enjoy things more.

For you, remember that the words we use everyday have power. They can either build or break us – so today, let us choose our words wisely.

Photo by Sharon Angelia

Makeup by Little Leeyah

Styled by Rhea Revren

Wardrobe by Lily Jean


  1. Hey kak Olivia, do you have any post on how you become who you are now? profession wise. I’m in college right now, and somehow every time I read your words, it’s always inspires me to be better and think ahead positively. thank you for your words. this one is definitely my favorite 😉

  2. Thanks for reminding me Ci! I’ve followed your youtube channel, thought that you’ve had wonderous life same as beauty bloggers mostly show it up. In fact, you struggled a lot and did very well by revealing your vulnerability. Keep inspiring!