December 31, 2018


People have simply overlooked the fact that I actually fear a lot. Especially in this industry, some people see the work I am doing as their promised land: shiny and beautiful, all bliss. What they don’t realize that I was constantly in fear.

‘Wait, what?’

Yep, you heard me. The fact that we are living our dream job and showing the highlights of our lives on social media do not automatically silencing our fear or sadness. In fact, the happier we are, the more we feel like we have more at stake.


Fear could impact us both emotionally and physically. We have certain narratives of ‘what ifs’ that pop into our heads when we are about to make decisions.

When I first decided to become a fashion influencer, I feared of opening myself up; or showing any sign of problem in my life. I feared of being underestimated because I was ‘only’ a fashion influencer. Also of rejection, failure, and disappointing others.

But if anything, I have learned that fear is our most powerful, ancient emotion. There is a study that our brain actually has a specific area to trigger fear because it kept our ancestors alive and cautious. In modern world, fear triggers the logical side of our brain to process decision carefully and thoroughly.

The key here is learning how to master that instinct.



Like anything in this world, we can take ‘fear’ as a good or bad thing – it depends on how we see it. Personally, I have learned that if we master ‘fear’ enough, then this is it. We can gain a mountain of powerful emotion that will keep us going.

In my case, my fear right now is to stop being relevant and inspiring people. That keeps me going. I know I still am scared of rejection and failure and a lot of other things – but I am cultivating my fear in a different way so that it becomes my fuel to create more things.

I believe that adversities are events that happen to us; but fear is our pre-emptive emotion; and how we react in the midst of adversities determine who we are. This is the mantra I am using to get a grip on myself and keep on moving forward.

My 2019 wish for all of us is that we can be fear-less. It doesn’t mean that we have no fear at all. It simply means that we have less fear, and then, we could focus on what we can achieve next.

Happy New Year, Everyone. Cheers for the better year ahead.


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