Style

WHAT THE CROSS MEANS TO ME

March 29, 2020


Happy Sunday friends! Due to the Covid–19 situation, we are not able to meet in a church for Sunday Service. So I’d like to share my communion that I shared in my digital service last Sunday. I shared about what cross means to me. So hopefully you can read this while having communion at home 🙂

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My whole life, I always think that I am not good enough. During my childhood, I always get compared to my siblings or cousins, whether it’s physically or academically. In high school, I got bullied a lot because I was too skinny. They would call me a corpse bride or a walking skeleton. I used to hate going to school every day. And now, I am working in the fashion industry where my whole world is in social media. 

I am in an industry where I get compared a lot. We compare our achievements, numbers of likes/followers, numbers of love, and I tend to focus on finding acceptance and approval from other people. I live in a society where it always makes me feel that I am not good enough. I always lack something. I cannot be as good as her. I cannot be as smart as her. And I realized I am actually hurting God by doing that. I make “other people” as my GOD. 

I’m tired of trying to be good enough. Because the truth is, I will never be enough. Not for this world anyway, because God didn’t create me to please this world. When I doubt myself, when I question my worth, and when I ask if there’s anyone out there willing to love me as I am,

God answers, “I am.” 

Being “good enough” isn’t the point of being a disciple. Being a disciple is about failing and admitting our weaknesses. It’s about knowing I’m not perfect and prone to temptations. And also knowing that God has sent His Son into the world because He loves me unconditionally. Not because of anything that I’ve done. 

God did not create me to hide on days I don’t feel adequate. God called me to a life of love and service, to live in a way that points to Him. When I’m worried about my worth, I can miss an opportunity to shine for Him. To be bold and confident. To be the light of this world.

The cross taught me to not listen to the lie, but walk with the truth that even on a bad day, God can use me. 

The cross taught me that Christ sees me at my best as well as my worst, and still accepts me completely. 

The cross taught me that I am made complete and perfect from the very beginning. Before I am even born, I am accepted and loved forever.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” – Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV

Insecurity has also been something to deal with now – in my industry it’s all about being social and that’s not happening right now. But the cross is still alive, and God gives me what I need everyday: His grace. He guides me daily. Jesus says in Matthew 6 “do not worry about tomorrow…” and I think we can apply that in our life when we take communion today.

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