Kalvin and I have only been married for almost two years. It means very little compared to what awaits us: which is for the rest of our lives.
From the moment I knew I’m marrying Kalvin up to this second, I always ponder upon one question: what it means to be a wife. A lot of questions challenge my perspectives as well. For instance, how am I becoming a wife with a professional job that requires me to travel a lot.
Disclaimer: This post is not to defend myself. I have nothing to defend. This post is also not to patronize other women. I have nothing to brag. This post is for a personal reminder and to share my belief on becoming a woman I always strive towards. On the last note, this post is not restricted to Christian believers, but I share this as general as possible in the hope that everyone can relate and apply the similar view as well.
It is not a secret that I believe in Jesus and I put the Bible as the foundation of my view on life in general. When it comes to becoming a woman, then Proverbs 31 (verse 10-31) is the best and most common foundation to rely on. Note that it is not limited to married women, but also for bringing any woman closer to God.
I wouldn’t get too deep into the Biblical teachings per se – but I believe that it is better to put it in an applicable and relevant list. So I have compiled xx questions as a checklist that I use daily to weigh my decisions in becoming a wife.
Because it will be too long if I put everything within one post, I decided to put it in three different parts. I hope you’d enjoy the first part!
AM I TRUSTWORTHY?
The first sentence literally asked: “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.”
Being trustworthy comes in a lot of different definitions. Being trustworthy does not only mean that Kalvin can trust that I am faithful to him, but it also means that he can count on me even in the smallest instance. If I say that I am going to have dinner with him, then being trustworthy means that he can count on me to have dinner with him. It is to hold my word as true as possible everyday.
For bigger instance, being trustworthy means that Kalvin can trust that I believe in him first above anyone else. If someone is saying something bad about him, he can put his ultimate trust that I am going to fight for him and believe in his word despite of what people say about him.
AM I BEING GOOD TO HIM? (OR US, TO EACH OTHER)
Being good is the basic human teaching. For a lot of people, this may come as a no-brainer. But to be honest, even though we know that we are called to be good to each other, how often are we actually being good?
This is especially tough in the smaller, consistent issues – like those days when I had a long tough day, sometimes I unintentionally forgot to be kind to Kalvin. Being good is basic, but it is definitely the core of every relationship. Sometimes it is easy to let it slip just because we have been together too long.
AM I HARDWORKING?
I believe as women, we are expected to be hardworking. This does not mean to be a workaholic at all. But it comes in a different range, like I work hard to maintain our relationship by making date night plans and spend time with Kalvin. I also work hard to maintain our needs as a family and be Kalvin’s partner that he can trust (read trustworthy). I also work hard to improve myself physically and emotionally, and become mature as our relationship matures together.
There are more points that I’d like to share, but I’m going to save those for the next post(s). So stay tuned!
Join the conversation
I really loved this post, Olivia! I love how introspective you are about your marriage, and how you strive to improve yourself while also becoming closer to God. I feel like we don’t often speak about this topic and it gets brushed off when really it builds the foundation of your relationship. It makes me want to ask myself these questions as well. I’m really excited to read your next posts xo