No one seems to be prepared to hurt, to feel stupid and insecure, to be face-to-face with the bitter truths. That’s life – and I have come to the (almost) full acceptance that in life, hurting is a major part of life.
But truth be told, I wasn’t always like that. I was deeply hurt that some days I couldn’t stomach it. In my previous post, I mentioned about the healing period, like the moment I leaned on my family and friends – and I wrapped it up with some wisdom of things shall pass away.
It was true – but what I didn’t mention was what really happened during the healing period. You see, in every aspect of life, the healing period might be one of the most liberating – yet excruciating processes of life. So today I’d like to share a few quick things about healing: what it is and what it’s not.
IT IS OKAY TO TAKE TIME TO FORGIVE
Being in a Christian environment, I understand how sometimes we are highly pressured to forgive. Right now. Right away. We can agree to disagree but I don’t think forgiveness works that way. Forgiveness is, indeed, the key to healing – but every individual has his or her own pace. So it’s perfectly fine to take time. Forgiveness is not a one-shot deal, but it might be a daily lifelong process. When Jesus said to forgive seventy times seven, this is partially what he meant.
IT IS OKAY TO BE MAD
You are hurt – and being mad is a natural reaction. Sometimes you will feel calm and peaceful and be accepting. Other times you will grieve. Acknowledge them – because the moment you do, you take their power to hurt you one bit at a time.
IT IS OKAY TO PUT BOUNDARIES
Forgiveness doesn’t mean friendship. You are allowed to put boundaries and you are under no obligation to hang out with the people who hurt you. Be kind, but it doesn’t necessarily mean to be best friends.
IT IS OKAY NOT TO RUSH THINGS
Be it the healing process or the forgiveness, you don’t have to rush it. Some people might judge you for keeping it at the most comfortable pace for you. They might be your friends, but in dark hours they become lawyers instead of healers. Ignore them. Don’t rush.
For those of you who are going through a hard time, remember that you have my prayers. None of this is easy – but take it step by step, day by day; and through the darkness, you will find yourself healed.