I do it almost all the time: comparing myself to others.
I guess we all do, at one point or another – but the thing with me is that I am not the only one who compares myself to others. Other people compare myself to others.
You can say that it comes as an occupational hazard. You see, it is my job to put myself out there. For other people, they can easily separate their job title and their personal life, like, “I am a partner at Deloitte,” while at home, they can be themselves.
For me, it is quite different. I am Olivia Lazuardy. At work, I am Olivia Lazuardy. At home, I am Olivia Lazuardy. I bring my job with me all the time, no matter where I go. If I make excellent things, Olivia Lazuardy will reap the benefit. But if I make a mistake, Olivia Lazuardy will also take on the consequences.
On top of that, people compare me to other people all the time. Not only do they compare my job, but they also compare my personalities and personal life. As I have mentioned before, it comes as an occupational hazard.
To clarify: not that I am complaining, but you get the idea that if I say I understand how damaging self comparison is, I really do understand. It starts as a simple observation and then it leads to self-comparison, and ends with self-judge that cause our confidence to take a sudden nosedive.
The thing about comparison is that there is never a win.
There will always be someone with toner body, better makeup, and ‘happier’ life – that make the gut wrenching feeling to have us second guessing our qualities. The reality is, people only showcase the best aspects of their lives on social media.
Real life is a daily struggle: from starting the day with bad traffic, getting fired from your job, a sudden breakout, to losing someone you love. Real relationship is messy: from a tiny disagreement on where to eat to financial problems. After all, we are not using a fair scale to measure our realities to other people’s social media stage.
So when this happens, it is important to take a step back. Breathe. Remind yourself over and over again that this is not a bad life – just a bad day. Redirect your attention toward the blessings in your life. Take a time out. And distance yourself from the source of negativity. If it is social media that cause you to compare yourself, spend less time on social medias. If it is someone who compares you to others, spend less time with him or her.
Next time you make an unfair comparison, remember that your value is not determined by other people’s life or beauty. Ultimately, you are blessed – and that is the most important thing