Just like other couples, Kalvin and I are two different people. Different hobbies. Different personality. Different passion.
I wouldn’t romanticise it by saying that those differences drive us closer together as a couple. On one side, if we think about it very carefully, yes they do – but not in Noah and Ally (you remember The Notebook?) kind of love. I also wouldn’t say that those differences subside over the time. Again, on one side, if we think about it very carefully and in much slower pace, yes they do subside over the time. But again, not in Hollywood-soulmate kind of love.
Going into our story, the biggest difference between Kalvin and I is our passion in life. My passion is in fashion. Kalvin’s passion is in business and culinary. I am all about aesthetics. He couldn’t care less. He is all about logic and numbers. I couldn’t stand too much logic and numbers.
I hope this story ends where I can say how we eventually understand each other’s world and our passion collide. But it doesn’t. Up until now, we haven’t get each other’s world and our passion rarely collide – but that is perfectly fine.
You see, the time we started our relationship, we went through troubles trying to change each other. I wanted him to understand fashion (and why we ladies spend so much money on fashion). He wanted me to understand business and numbers (and why he’d spend so many hours working on the computer). However, the harder we tried to plough into each other’s world, the more frustrated we got. The more frustrated we got, the more our relationship went spiralling down. Things went much worse.
Eventually we understand that being together as a couple doesn’t mean we have to merge each other’s world together all the time. We learned that the healthiest couple consist of two people with their own well-built, blissful world – that come together and celebrate life as one. We support each other to pursue each others’ passion. But supporting each other doesn’t mean we have to understand what each other do like exactly how and why; we simply have to understand that this is important for each other, so we encourage each other daily, with our presence through each other’s ups and downs, and bring it up to our prayers.
To close, let me share you our favourite quotes from Beau Taplin:
“A healthy relationship isn’t living vicariously through one another. True love isn’t someone being there at your side every moment of every day, but being free, and encouraged, to pursue your own passions, and then sharing in the spoils of your triumphs together.”