Planning a wedding is no easy task! With several months to go until the big day, it’s likely all girls would have an image of what their dream wedding would look like. Yes, thanks to Pinterest that gives you ideas on how to make your top table look gorgeous – but let’s get back to reality. I want to talk about things that aren’t usually discussed in any wedding sites or magazines. Wedding prep can be so stressful, it literally drains my energy. I couldn’t believe I shared my first heart to heart session on marriage few months ago and now my Big Day is just a few steps away. So today I wanna talk about things that might be good for the body and soul. I want to share with all of you how I really feel these past few days. I made these lists as a reminder for myself to not caught up in things that leads me to negativity. So if you are in the phase of planning a wedding like me, I hope this lists could be useful.
TAKE YOUR TIME
Planning a wedding is not like planning a birthday party! Rushing things out is not a really good idea. There’s a lot of things to be prepared, both physically and mentally. Wedding Party is just a one day event, but what lies ahead is more important.
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
As I’ve shared in my previous article, I’ve been so caught up on how people would feel during the big day. So I began to learn that thinking about what I really need is the best thing to do. Yes, I wouldn’t let my guests feel uncomfortable and starve, but I also need to focus on myself rather than others. I went for my dress fitting a week ago and I am 6 centimetres smaller. How crazy is that? I don’t want to look stress on my big day! Now I need to focus on how to gain 2 Kg in several months.
This is fun! It’s a happy occasion! This is once in a life time event! Instead of treating wedding preparation as a burden, I want to have fun with it. I want to enjoy every moment to make it memorable! And remember, as long as you’re married at the end of the night, it is a success.
ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN’T PLEASE ANYONE
I realised that I cannot make everyone happy, and trying to accommodate others will just make the whole process more daunting. This is my day! I want to really enjoy it with Kalvin! It really is the most special day for Kal & I!
THERE IS NO PERFECT DRESS
We live in the world of reality, what’s trending today might look gross in 10 years time. So do yourself a favor and pick a gown that’s beautiful and within budget. Don’t let the dress shopping drag on until the entire experience curdles.
STOP TRYING TO BE SO UNIQUE
Look, weddings are not original. They are a template and it is already there years before we were born. No matter how much money I’m going to throw at the planning process, my wedding is not going to be one of a kind. I don’t need a special, hand-crafted symbol in every plate, spoon, and table. I love planning on a good concept and visuals, but I don’t want to be drown in the idea that it has to be one of a kind.
TRY NOT TO STRESS
I keep reminding myself to remember why I am getting married, and truly make it an event about the both of us. I’m trying to have faith in my vendors and photographer, and trust that they will do their job well. Even it feels hard for me, because I am the type of person who loves to be in charged in every details.
LIMIT YOUR OPTIONS
We live in this era where we have thousands of options for wedding vendors. It is not like the others are bad, but I’m trying to close myself from too many different options. Limitations are wedding prep’s best friend. The true game in wedding planning is eliminating as many possibilities as fast as possible. Now the problem is about wedding shoes. I still have a lot options in my gallery, so I guess I should learn to eliminate most of them.
Learning how to effectively communicate with my spouse is extremely important. It is something that we really have to work on — for me it doesn’t come naturally.
James 1:19 (NIV)
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”
LEARN THE ART OF COMPROMISING
Marriage will be about give and take. I know I will have to compromise many things for the benefit and happiness of others. The earlier I learn to compromise, the better off I will be in marriage. I learn to respect the differences. I know that Kalvin & I came from different identities, different personalities. I am being reminded because of the similarities and differences, I have chosen to get married to this person.
HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
Having a good relationship with God helps me to have a humble heart. I am proud that Kalvin & I have the same value. We argue and disagree to a lot of stuffs that lead us to numerous fights. To the point that I just don’t care about the wedding anymore. (yup! it was that bad!). But then practicing what’s in the bible makes a good reminder for the both of us! We learned to appreciate each other more.
DON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN PERFECTION
I am a perfectionist, so this is one thing that I have to practice. Sure, some things will get messy and not turn out to be like the amazing reference on Pinterest. But I want to capture honest and a truly joyful moment that could easily have gone in a blink of an eye. Embrace the unexpected, We are in this together, now and for the future.
TAKE TIME TO ENJOY EACH OTHER’S COMPANY
It’s so easy to be dragged down by wedding preps. It feels like every time we see each other, we have wedding decisions to make and discuss. At the end of the day, we are missing out on quality time. So in this moment, I always told Kal to not talk about wedding prep or work when we are on a date. We need a balance in everything!
So yeah! These are the things that I have to keep in mind until the Big day comes! I want to make sure that every little moments throughout the wedding preparations; the emotion and the hard works are beautiful. The wedding day will goes by so quickly and before I know it, all of that planning is over.
Dress by Hian Tjen
Accessories by Rinaldy Ayunardi
Make Up by Mimi Kwok
Hair by Jeffry Welly
Shoes by Sophia Webster