Projects

WHEN GROWING UP MEANS LEAVING SOME PEOPLE BEHIND (AND IT’S FINE)

December 14, 2017


I remember some time ago, I met up with my old friends. By old friends, I mean those people with whom I hang out all the time and talked everyday.

I didn’t remember exactly what happened in between then and now – but we don’t really talk everyday or hang out every other day anymore. We didn’t end our friendship badly. We just stopped talking one day at a time – and before we knew it, it was one year since our last conversation.

After meeting them, I went home wondering where our friendship went.

You know, those times when we couldn’t stop talking about random stuffs, telling funny stories, and sharing our daily life. At this point, we kept our conversation brief. We do ‘catch up’ instead of maintaining our relationship daily – and then afterward, we go another day, another month, and perhaps another year without including each other into our schedules, but liking each other’s social media updates.

That day, I spent quite some time pondering about this. I tried to find out why and pinpoint the exact time we had a fall out. Maybe I said something wrong. Or maybe I neglected the friendship.

I would really love to continue this story with something like, “I happened to fix the friendship and now we are best friends as ever,” but unfortunately, it didn’t go that way. Right now, we are more like ‘friends’ or even worse, ‘acquaintances’ rather than best friends – and after some time, I finally got over it.

I finally get that things happen when we grow up. Some people fit just right in as we grow up together. Some people grow different shapes – and that’s fine. I have learned that some people are for a lifetime, while some people are just for a season or two. I have to admit that emotionally, it is painful. Losing people is never easy – but that’s a part of growing up.

Sometimes, part of me still want to pull some people back into my life – but I realized that forcing it to happen will only hurt both sides. So after that day onwards, I learn to let go. I let go of people and my past – if that is a necessary part to move forward. One day down the road, we might meet and fit into each other’s life again – but for now, I am really letting go.

I have learned that life is the dance of letting go of my past identity, my role, and my people. S life keeps on moving, we outgrow each phase and eventually we’d outgrow some people too. Some things fall away as we become larger and expansive. By letting go, we leave room for new and better things and people.

So if you feel like you outgrow some people, please keep in mind that life happens that way – and sometimes, the best thing you can do is to let them go.

Make-up by Morin

Photo by Mr Hendra

Outfit by Louis Vuitton

RELATED POST