Before I got married, I was prepared in a lot of ways to face the reality in marriage. “It is going to be hard” – and almost one year into a marriage life, I have to agree that yes, in some ways, marriage is hard. I can say that I am lucky enough to marry my best friend. And yet the fact that two different human-being suddenly live together is definitely not easy.
But, there are a lot of pleasant, tiny surprises that come along with that as well. I’ve only been married for 10 months, but I’m thinking to share the things we have learned so far – even to the un-prettiest thing.
1. One of the most asked-questions of all time would be: “What do you want to eat?”
2. And the answer would 95.86% be: “I don’t know. What do you want to eat?”
3. You have someone to binge-watch shows with.
4. But it also means you have to wait for the other person, suit your schedule and watch it together. It’s like the unwritten commitment included in modern wedding vows.
5. You need to be intentional of your time together and alone.
6. It’s weird to have the title of ‘someone’s wife’ – and start ticking the ‘Mrs’ instead of ‘Ms.’
7. Money-talk is always, always hard – but it is one of the most important part of marriage that you have to discuss thoroughly.
8. Having a ‘couple’ mentor is always beneficial in terms of sharing your problems and asking for advices.
9. Being married actually highlights the worst part of you: like being selfish and self-centered.
10. But that’s the beauty of it: that both of you can actually learn from each other and nurture your best qualities.
11. It’s easy to fall into mundane schedule. That’s why sometimes you need to schedule date night and sex. But that’s okay.
12. Your partner sometimes annoys you in the same way you annoy your partner.
13. Some days, you’ll feel like you are putting more effort than he is. Take a deep breath. Don’t explode. Talk about it.
14. It’s nice to have common interests, but it is also healthy to keep your personal interest, personal.
15. Being kind is the key to almost everything.
16. Cooking food at home is much cheaper.
17. Groceries are expensive. Hats off to my mom.
18. It is okay to go to bed angry. Sometimes all you need is time to clear your head and have more fruitful discussion in the morning.
19. Pray together. When things get rough, you might want to cry in your prayer. To include your partner into your prayer session and cry together might be one of the most nourishing things for the relationship.
20. say “I love you”.